Regrets and empty promises
by Cmdr. Phantom
Summary: Character death. An SG-1 member dies, and Jack can't cope. (just a 5 minute drabble)


Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, or anything relating to it. This is just something to fill in the time..  
  
Rating: G ~ Character death.  
  
Authors note : This is a bit of drabble I wrote in 5 minutes. Only because of the morbid mood I am in at the moment. R&R if you like, but I warn you it's strange, might not make much sense.  
  
------  
  
"Carter."  
  
A knock came at Sam Carter's door, but the woman lay on her hard military bed, and didn't stir.  
  
"Carter!"  
  
The knock became persistent, louder, but still she didn't wake.  
  
"Carter?"  
  
Jack O'Neill slowly opened her door, poking his head through it. His eyes drifted around the dimly lit room until they lay on the still figure.  
  
"Hey Sam?"  
  
He walked in, closing the door softly behind him, then walked to where she was sleeping. He knelt next to it, resting his arms on the bed, and just watched her for a moment. Her blond hair was in disarray, framing her face on the pillow. Her eyes were closed, still. Her lips were parted slightly, and not for the first time Jack wondered if he'd ever have the privilege of kissing those lips. His eyes continued to drift down, over her chin and down her neck, when suddenly he frowned.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
He reached over, placing two fingers just above her parted lips, holding there a moment. Then they immediately went down under her neck. Springing up, Jack moved towards the phone mounted on the wall,  
  
"This is Colonel O'Neill."  
  
------  
  
"I'm sorry Colonel."  
  
General Hammond stood in front of Jack, the deepest look of sympathy on his face any at the SGC had seen. Jack stood, uncomprehending. Sam was dead. That was her body he was staring at in the infirmary. That was her body that would never smile at him again, never bore him with technical gibberish that went over his head nine times out of ten. She'd never give him one of her coy looks behind the generals back again, or just sit with him when he gave himself last watch, just talking. And he'd never ever have the privilege of kissing her perfect lips.  
  
"How did it happen?"  
  
Jack tried to keep his voice level, tried not to reveal how hurt he was. How much Sam had really meant to him. The General tried to explain, told him something he didn't even understand. Made it sound so simple. But it wasn't. His Sam, his major, who'd saved his life more times then he could recall, would never be around to watch out for his back again.  
  
The General left, the doctors left. Jack was alone with Sam in the room. No, not Sam. Just a body. Sam was her mind, her wit and intelligence. This was just the empty husk that carried it. Jack wondered where it went. Where this perfect mind disappeared too when the heart stopped beating.  
  
During the night, Daniel Jackson arrived. But nothing the archaeologist said stirred the colonel from his post. He didn't speak, and the supper Daniel left went uneaten.  
  
The night turned into day, and still Jack didn't move. Officials came and took the body away, ready for the funeral, and still Jack sat, staring into the void of space. Reliving every moment with Sam that he could remember.  
  
One truth he couldn't hide, not from himself. Not anymore.  
  
-------  
  
"Retire? I'm sorry Colonel, I can't let you do that."  
  
"It's done General."  
  
Jack walked out of the SGC, away from the stargate, away from the memories of Sam that filled every moment of his existence. His home was no better. Instead of Sam sitting in the corner, he saw his wife. His son.  
  
Turmoil gripped Jack, and his world became full of dark images. Something he could have done, something that should have been done to save Sam, his wife, his son. They had all left him, some not by choice, but it was too much for him to take.  
  
Black clouds brought forth heavy rain, and his world turned blurry. Regrets and empty promises.  
  
He would have told Sam how much she meant to him.  
  
He would have stayed behind to make amends with his wife.  
  
He would have put the gun away.  
  
--------  
  
"Jack?"  
  
A voice penetrated the haze that was Jack's life.  
  
"Jack, listen to me."  
  
Sam. It had to be Sam. It was impossible, but he would never mistake her voice. So long since he heard it last.  
  
"Jack, you have to pull out of this."  
  
Jack wasn't sure if he was hearing right. Sam was dead. If nothing else, he was convinced of that.  
  
"Jack, you have to live."  
  
Live? Without her? Jack had no life. Not anymore.  
  
"You have your friends Jack."  
  
Friends? Teal'c? Daniel? Were they friends? Did he need them?  
  
"Let them help."  
  
Help? Yes, they could help. Remind him of how much he needed Sam in his life.  
  
"Remember the good. Live through the bad. But never give up."  
  
Never give up. Jack heard the words echo through his existence. Never give up. No. Jack wouldn't give up. He couldn't. Not now.  
  
"She was a member of SG-1. She was solider, a major in the American air force. But more then that, she was a friend. And she will be dearly missed by all." 


End file.
